COntest Lagi dan Lagi

ewah2..sejak jadi penganggur full time ni makin banyak contest aku join secara rambang..sampai rambang mata nak pilih contest ape nak join..tapi memang aku tak pernah menang..so,tanpa rasa putus asa,aku join lagi contest baru iaitu Churp Churp contest.. so,berbekalkan semangat tawakal seperti sang burung yang kluar mencari rezeki tanpa ada hala yang pasti,jom kita join contest ni..mane tau menang besauuu kite..kamera idaman hamba..please be mine (wat muka comel) ;P

story of trust~

I have forgot where did I read this story from..but simple analogy with BIG message..

"there was a girl and a boy..who were 'good' friends..the boy gave 3 candies to the girl and the girl gave 5 candies to the boy..the boy went back and kept thinking if the girl kept any other candies for herself..that thought disturbed him for the whole day and night until he couldn't sleep..the next morning,he went to see the girl..he asked her if she couldn't sleep like him too..but the girl replied him,she slept well and she woke up with smile on her face the next morning because she had given all of her candies to the boy..she satisfied that she gave all of her candies to her "best" friend.. and the boy was shocked because he kept two candies for himself and made him felt the girl had the same thinking.."

so, what you learnt from the story?

Upon reading this story, I was reflecting myself that sometimes we think others would treat us like how we treat them..if you don't believe others, you would think others won't believe you like how you did..that's why when we hurt others, we would be worried that others would hurt us in return..just a simple story with big message..

"Ya Allah, jauhkan aku dan orang2 di sekelilingku dari buruk sangka,khianat, dengki dan dendam..semoga hati ini lebih tenang utk terus mendampingi MU dan menyayangi keluarga, sahabat, guru2 dan murid2 ku"Amiinn..iA~

Semoga nilai hati kita semua +ve ;) (credit photo)

Otak-Otak Kempas~

sejak dua tiga minggu ni..hanya otak2 idaman hati..balik kampung hari tu lg,dh terbayang2 isi merah dibalut daun kelapa (ye ke daun kelapa?) pergh,memang mengidam tahap stratosfera la..saya bukannya penggemar otak2 pn sebelum ni..tapi xtau la,sejak nek teksi bersama syud time nak g stesen bas larkin hari tu..bau dari plastik berisi otak2 nih memang buat rembesan saliva yg melampau2..haha..ok,xnak cakap banyak..jadi,buat masa sekarang nih,sy memey la hantu otak2 kempas nih..kalau nak bg adiah birthday otak2 1 karung pun sy berbesar hati :))

source of picture

thanks for reading!!

sports~

rata-rata orang duk cakap pasal hari sukan..u know what..the only thing i like about sukan is only the gerai2 makan where i can buy semua jenis makanan yang sy suka tapi ma xbagi mkn kat rumah..contoh nya.. jeruk anggur kuning yang totally xde khasiat..tp kalau ade hari sukan dkt stadium sy akan mintak duit dgn ma n gi stadium smata2 nak beli that unhealthy food..ahaha..ok,tu je yg paling bole menarik minat sy utk pergi tgk sukan.. hanya utk tengok..that's all..tapi berita yg berlegar2 dlm maktab semenjak dua ni amatlah membimbangkan sy..dlm kepala sy ade satu je yg sy pk..KENAPA HARI SUKAN? buat la hari merdeka ke,hari jadi ke,hari rabu ke..sukan is really not me.. :( why i hate sukan? these are my reasons:

1) sukantara akan memaksa sy melakukan all weird things which obviously can't be done by me.. dari sekolah rendah tau..mesti kna paksa lari yg kalau ade 8 line dkt padang tuh,sure2 sy no 8..lagi 1, kalau dah namenye pendek mcm sy nih, pagar yg memang same tggi je dgn sy tu adalah tak tercapai akal sy bole lompat..:( n lompat tinggi memang saja je idea utk mendiskriminasi orang mcm sy..

2) sy paling x berbakat merentas desa..ingatkan dah abis skolah rendah cukup2 la merentas desa..skali gi la mane2 pun,wajib ade je aktiviti tahunan merentas desa.. why oh why? kang ade sy ilang kt tngh jalan sbb stop kt kedai beli air.. :(

3) kena paksa tarik tali.. pergh..sape2 yg xmampu nak masuk ape2 acara sukan diwajibkan main tarik tali..pergh,dh la dlu sy ni kecik sgt..kalau tarik tali yg macam tali kapal tuh sure tangan sakit sgt2..melecet2 bagai..perlu ke paksa kalau memang orang xbole tu?

sy la golongan x bertuah yg kena main sukan sebab terpaksa..akhir kata..sy xsuke sukan! mmg xde semangat kesukanan langsung dlm diri sy..jgn la paksa please..:(

ABAH ~

dulu kecik2 saya cakap dekat kawan2 saya.. "ABAH saya garang!" huh. memang patut la garang. ni kalau xkena rotan masa kecik ntah menjadi orang ke x sekarang pun xtau. sebab masa kecik saya memang nakal (sekarang pun). and degil jugak (sekarang pun) and malas jugak (sekarang pun) so sebenarnye tak penah berubah sifat2 mazmumah tu. tapi hasil didikan agama yg MA ABAH bagi. alhamdulillah sekarang at least saya boleh membezakan yg betul dan salah (walaupun ade terpilih yg salah along the way) banyak saya belajar dari garang abah sebenarnya. sebagai contoh, saya belajar tak boleh tinggal puasa (sebab penah try tinggal skali tapi kena piat dekat kaki) saya belajar jangan menipu (sebab ABAH marah kalau cakap dah semayang tapi sebenarnya tak) saya belajar tak boleh tinggal semayang (sebab abah piat lagi banyak kalau tinggal semayang) saya belajar jangan buat jahat nanti kena seksa dekat kubur (sebab tiap2 malam ABAH cerita nanti mati malaikat munkar nakir datang soal dgn guruh yg kuat,n plus sound effect suara ABAH pun dah cukup scary,nnt kena soal lagi berganda scarynya) and macam2 lah lagi. kesimpulannya ABAH garang.


tapi sekarang bila saya citer sal ABAH saya dekat kawan2, I would say HE'S GREAT. why he's title changing? sebab dah pencen. pencen jadi garang. ok2. gurau je. sebab saya dah makin matang. dalam menilai tidak dipengaruhi emosi. jadi bila dah di plus minus kan semuanya, saya rasa ABAH tetap mendapat nilai straight As (walaupun saya tak mampu dapat straight As ms SPM dulu,ABAH mampu okeyh). 1 A utk ABAH sebab memang nama dah ABAH,mesti la start ngan A. 1A sebabbagi makan cukup utk saya sampai sebesar2 orang saya boleh jadi. 1A sebab ajar saya sampai takde lagi istilah kurang ajar,semua dah diajar,kalau yang salah tu salah saya sendiri. 1A sebab selalu bagi motivasi free. 1A utk bagi counselling free jugak.nak list kan semua tuh memang tak termampu. 1A sebab sentiasa ada utk anak2 walau dimana anak berada. ni line Digi pun kalah ni. amik je tiket g mana2,ABAH will be there. xcaya cepat book flight ticket skarang :) 1A sebab selalu jadi decision maker utk saya. I'm fail in making decision,so he's the best for me to refer to when I need to. e.g: nak makan nasik lauk daging ke lauk ayam? ABAH akan decide nak beli nasik lauk daging sebab dia tau saya sukeeee~

so next time,bile rasa nak mintak ape2 dr ABAH,saya akan fikir dulu. dah cukup banyak ke apa yang saya bagi dekat ABAH sampai sanggup saya mintak ganjaran? tapi kadang2 tanpa mintak pun ABAH bagi je apa yang kita nak selagi dia mampu.Alhamdulillah.syukur atas nikmat seorang WALID yang tak pernah saya mintak dalam doa,tapi Allah dah bagi percuma. doa je yang mampu saya kirimkan untuk ABAH yang saya rindu jauh di sana. akhir kata. SAYA SAYANG ABAH. okthanksbye..

 p/s: whenever I want to spell ABAH, it should be capitalized,not because he is BIG,but he has BIG ROLES in my life. ABAH saya ada 7 orang anak,so saya dalam entry ni mewakili 7 anak2 ABAH..

thanks for reading~

DEJA VU

it's not cool when you have this deja vu..i just know the term,but is it a noun or adjective or verb? like i care what word class it is..huahuahua..actually it happens when i copied from my presentation slides and pasted into words..then i felt like i had done the same thing, and when i was about to save it, i think i had chosen the same file name..and this is REALLY REALLY NOT COOL at all..even though this is my habitual action which i love most (copy and paste) why suddenly this deja vuuuuu disturbs me this time -___- you know what? this sounds creepy~ ok,back to work..

i've watched this movie..deja vu is scary huh~

p/s: but deja vu is much way better than Jazlan's (if i'm not mistaken) sharing bout "if you woke up between 2-3 in the morning, that means someone or 'something' is staring at you!" @_@

Orang Kaya vs Orang Miskin

actually the title doesn't tell everything,mcm orang putih selalu cakap,don't judge a book by its cover..so begitu la isi karangan sy pada hari ini..hua3

ok,nak ceritanya seaawal pagi saya sudah bangun kerana sudah ber'date' dgn cik syud utk keluar merempit d jalanan Johor yg busy ni dengan tujuan ke PC Fair..ewah..seumur hidup sebelum ni skali je penah g PC Fair iaitu sewaktu *ewah ayat BM bole dipuji* nak beli laptop nih..so yg ni kira second time lah kan..makanya,merempitlah kami ke Danga City Mall..tp mungkin sedikit hampa sebab kedai kali ni x sebanyak dulu..walau bagaimanapun,hasil tangkapan hari ni bole la beli card reader sebab usb camera dh lama ilang..and LCD cleaner kerana screen laptop dh bertompok2 cendawan dah *maksudnya,semua sy beli bersebab*...

hasil pembelian sy tidak langsung menyumbang kepada pembangunan pesat ekonomi rakyat Malaysia, dan kalau semua yg g PC Fair beli macam sy,of cos tak tercapailah tujuan utama orang menganjur PC FAIR..


TAPI..

sedar tak bahawa adanya orang macam saya membuatkan jurang perbezaan antara si miskin dan si kaya tidak lah begitu ketara??? penting tau saya di kalangan korang2 semua.. mesti korang semua pikir "Why oh why?" sambil menghantuk dahi ke dinding..so utk memudahkan problem solving anda,I give u an analogy:

kalau korang tengah duk drive kereta 1000cc dkt tengah highway..pastu tiba2 dipotong oleh 2 buah BMW dan sebuah CRV..and then tak lama lepas tu lalu pulak kereta Honda..anda pun stop dkt R&R..mengenang nasib yg hanya naik kereta murah.."OMG..Why you have chosen me to be the poorest person in Malaysia??" tgh anda bermunajat d surau R&R,tiba2 orang datang tepi korang letak kat depan dia Beg Coach bersebelahan beg free anda dpt d booth Jom Heboh..lagi panjang munajat korang kan..dh siap 2 menapaklah anda penuh kekecewaan ke food court mengenang nasib malang bertimpa2..dah siap anda beli nasi campur lauk ikan keli,sayur bayam dan air sirap limau,anda pun cari tempat duduk utk memuaskan nafsu lapar..ade meja kosong..tapi...Mak Cik cleaner ni tak buat keje ke???? pinggan kotor n air suku nak abis besepah atas meja..huarghhhh..mengamuk lah anda sehingga bertukar hijau..cari punya cari mak cik cleaner then jumpe duk kutip pinggan satu persatu..baru je anda nak sergah dari belakang,siap dah susun ayat.."Ohoi,makan gaji buta ke?" anda terlihat aksi ngeri makcik cleaner yang tgh pilih2 ayam yg baru je disantap 1/8 dan letak dalam plastik..and nasi tu campur 4 pinggan nasi tak abis dh jadi sebungkus..dh siap2 bungkus,baru dia perasan ade makhluk hijau belakang dia..bila dia tanya, ade ape cik@encik? mesti tiba2 korang dah tuka skema jawapan, "Ni saya ade terbeli nasik lebih sepinggan, ingat kawan saya nak datang,tapi tak jadi pulak..Makcik nak makan?"

so, moral of the story is..kalau anda ke PC Fair dan mampu utk membeli at least cover iPad 2 or screen protector Samsung Galaxy SII,maka bersyukurlah kerana sudah mempunyai at least sebuah atau 8 buah gajet canggih di abad ini...masih ade yang tak mampu nak memenuhi even the most basic needs in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs which are food, shelters and clothes *err,maksud saya any piece of cloth to cover your body,not Zara,or Levi's n so on* so,bersyukurlah dengan ape yg anda ade..dah kaya tu,pandai2 lah bayar zakat ye x? last but not least, one wisdom say I read from FB: "Aku menangis kerana tidak berkasut, sehingga aku bertemu orang tidak berkaki" so,tak susah mane pun kalau tak mampu tweet dkt Twitter via Blackberry..just live with what you have,don't live for what you don't have..*Ok, ayat reka sendiri..*
That's All.... Assalamualaikum :)


p/s: saya bersyukur dengan elaun sara hidup 600++ sebulan

image source

3 february~

esok dah 3 februari kn..

kejap je dari stahun ke setahun tu..

tu la hakikat kehidupan..

dan tarikh kat atas tu dah jadi another important date yg akan sy ingat..

genaplah 3 tahun arwah nenek sy kembali kepada Yang Maha Pencipta..

nenek yg saya sayang sgt2..

nenek yg selalu menangkan sy..

mcm janggal pulak panggil nenek kan..

i used to call her mok..

the one yg jaga sy dr sekecik2 orang..

sampai bole jadi sebesar2 orang..

everytime I remember her now..

mesti terasa jari2 sy yg xberapa runcing ni dia genggam erat last time..

n betapa susahnye nak terima hakikat that she was not here anymore..

dr kecik tau dia ade..

that made me feel she would always be there for me..

n dulu2 whenever I drew story..

the story would be about a beautiful girl *budak2 mesti nk imagine one day will be beautiful girl@princess..mane ade nak imagine jd besar godang sampai semua baju jd sempit cm sy*

ok back to the story..

"it was a story of a beautiful girl...

stayed with her grandmother.. 

and they lived happily in the jungle..

in a very big and beautiful mansion..

and behind their mansion,

there was a hut (now I would think it is more to pharmacy)

where they stored a lot of the granny's medicines..

and the medicines were meant to make the granny stay alive and young..

and would never die forever (and now it sounds like cerita hantu or susuk rupenye)"

ok..

remembering thestoryline of my imagination makes me cry :(

how stupid i was to think i would never want her to leave me..

and I still think the same masa mok mula2 xde..

I thought I can't live without her..

but i manage to get through it..

even after she's gone almost every night I would dream of her..

and tak ingat pun since when she's no more in my dream..

betapa telitinya perancangan Allah kn..

dia tak terus bagi sy rasa hilangnya mok dlm sekelip mata..

Alhamdulillah..

for still be breathing..

and tonight I can recite Yassin for you mok..

May Allah ease your journey to Jannah..

Al-Fatihah~

p/s: i miss you so much..it just Him that can link me to you~

losing grip~

tajuk nak avril lavigne aje..

aha..

suke ati la nak tajuk ape..

tp 2 la ape yg sy rasa..

like i hv no stand to hold on..

it feels like when you are crossing hanging bridge..

gayat nooo~

alahai,

tahun2 akhir cmni slalu wat rasa tak tenteram,

jiwa berkecamuk,

marah xmenentu,

banyak persoalan yang berada di minda,

banyak tanda tanya dan juga kata kerja.eyh.

siap baca sambil nyanyi nampak? 

ok2..

back to business..

bile saat2 genting macam ni,

rasa mcm sume tak kena..

dah 5 tahun belajar pn rasa xtau pape..

and you should know that I'm a person with low self-esteem..

bile orang bagi sentap sket dah rasa

incomplete me.

then dah tak tau mana nak start balik dah.

huwaaa..

nape idup makin lama makin susah

dulu senang je idup..

nak balik umur 12 tahun..

main anak patung..

main kawen2..

main tudung botol..

n then no one would say to me..

"that's ok..

just take it easy..

thing would turn ok.."

cause the ones that I used to have..

I used to share laughs and tears..

are getting far and farther from me..

left me here all alone..

with my own imaginations and dream..

.....

then only I think,

maybe it's the way that Allah wants me to be..

to show me there's only Him no one other that would be..

the One and only to be held,

when I'm losing grip..

photo source

I wish I were in the dream~

td tido saya mimpi saya jumpe dgn sorang budak.rambut blonde.comel.kiut.miut.peluk saya.nangis2 saya peluk budak tuh.so nama dia yg muncul dlm mimpi tu eve.dia student saya dkt gladstone.bile bangun trus bukan folder gamba2 dkt gladstone.

huwaaa..rindunye..walau hingus meleleh,pekat,hijau,likat..rindu jgk ngan diorg.mesti diorg dh besaq kan.rindu cikgu cantik tu jgk.ok.so rindu je lah nk ckp.orang kate kalau kite mimpi orang tu bmakna orang tu pun rindu kite?betul x ni?so,eve misses miss khazali? erk =.= ok tak2.miss khazali miss all room 1 members.hope one fine day we'll meet again.*in your dream* kalau duit dah lebih sgt pas dah g haji n umrah baru bole g auckland kot,n budak2 ni pun dah tua dah.

new challenges are coming~

alhamdulillah,already in Malaysia for 1 month and 19 days..seems it just a short length of time,but for me it's enough to adapt myself in Malaysia environment..the temperature which I need to bear for the rest of my life, the food which should be less than I had in NZ *ehem2*, the way people see me *ekhemmmm* and the way I look at people.. there are lots of differences but nothing to be compared.. every place has it's own good sides and also weaknesses.. it just ourselves which need to be flexible..chewwahh..

never mind, like you care all those things, right? what's important I'M BACK.. .. .. .. ?? ok I repeat it again I'M BACK.. *hope you have to shout YEAY in you mind* yes!!! I'm back to my home.. to my lovely family..they are missed a lot while I was there.. and the most recent, to my beloved maktab.. who says there was nothing to be missed about maktab? I would rather say, I love maktab, I miss lots of memories when I was here..even I'm already here, the memories could not be repeated *ehem2* but as the title would suggest, there are more and more challenges are coming..as usual, for TESL@TESOL students, the name of the course already makes us sounds or looks weird to others.. but the most recent gossip i heard about my cohort is, WE ARE RICH? *am I?* I think some of us, because they were working too hard while they were there,so I think their sacrifices and hardship are worth now.. but not ALL of us do.. because at least 1 *that is me* out of 59 is not rich.. but i like the gossip though, because I like to be called rich even I just"tumpang sekaki" the title..thanks for the DOA..Hopefully I will be rich as you wish..Aminnn~

ok, stop it.. Now I am moved on to hostel life.. Last year I was in apartment..everything provided..easy life there huh? the biggest challenge in hostel life is, I NEED TO WASH MY CLOTHES MANUALLY all the time..I hate washing clothes for sure..last time I just operated the machines until the clothes are ready to be folded..but now.........i'm not comparing ok..even at home my father does all the washing-clothes matter because it's his hobby I tell you..proud to have a very hardworking daddy..huhu..without my daddy, my days are difficult..sob sob.. and the last challenge is, I really need to take bath twice a day because I will be sweat easily here..haiyooo..you know that taking bath is the hardest part in my life? ok,got to take my bath now..salam~

I do miss my life in Auckland

But I am enjoying my life over here :)